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Scranton Times Volunteer Week

My blurb made it into the paper to Support the March of Dimes. 

Each year on October 11, I receive two phone calls. Both expressing love and saying, “I remember.” A very simple statement, yet it always made quite an impact on me. Remembering Aria’s birthday, which was twenty weeks too soon, is not easy for most people. My beautiful daughter was too small to open her eyes and too small to cry, but she had a strong heart and she blessed my life for two hours. Unlike some moms, I had the opportunity to say hello, and then goodbye.

Sadly in 2011, my aunt died unexpectantly from complications associated with lupus. Within a few months, my mom also died, from lung cancer. The two people who were not afraid to remember Aria, are gone. Now more than ever I realized that keeping my daughter’s memory alive is very important to me. Similarly, I wanted to celebrate the lives of my three NICU graduates, Cole, Athena and Alexa. All of my pregnancies had complications, which resulted in premature birth, despite up to date medical interventions. With this in mind, I started a March of Dimes family team; Team Wendo: In Memory of Aria. The March of Dimes embodies everything that is important to me. By volunteering and raising money for the March of Dimes I am helping a mom stay pregnant longer; I am helping a baby’s lungs develop quicker for a better chance of survival; I am giving support to families with babies in the NICU. Knowing that I can help one baby, one mother and one family makes volunteering a worthwhile experience.  

Support our Team!

I created a team in Memory of Aria to raise money for the March of Dimes. In addition to Aria's memory, we are celebrating the lives of my 3 NICU graduates.  

Nothing in life prepares you for a long NICU journey.  Nothing prepares you to lose a child because they are premature. 

Please support our team.  Every day, babies are born too soon or very sick. The money we raise in March for Babies helps fund research to find treatments and preventions. And it supports programs in your community that give moms the best chance of a healthy, full-term pregnancy. You can donate securely online

 http://www.marchforbabies.org/WendoX4  

..

Rest in Peace, MOM- November 27, 2011
                  Aunt Donna- July 4, 2011
                  Aria              October 11, 2008
                  Grandma W.   sorry, I can't remember the date. Before Athena's first Birthday-

R.I.P

My Mom passed away Nov 27, 2011 at age 55 from Lung cancer.  She had stage 4 lung cancer back in 2001 and after aggressive treatment, it went into remission.  She was diagnosed with breast cancer while I was preg with Alexa in 2010.  They believed that the got it all after a mastectomy. She started taking Chemo pills to play it safe. Seems that as soon as her breast was removed she started coughing.  One of t he side effects of the pills was cough, flu like symptoms so she wasn't concerned. On July 4, 2011, my aunt Donna joined Aria. It was after this that my Moms cough became much worse and she seemed to go downhill. When she went to the doctor, her lung cancer was back. After numerous treatments, the cancer continued to spread. Within a few months of her sister, my Mom passed away, I hope all of my loved one are resting in peace. 

It is such a sad time. 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ARIA

October is Infant Death Awareness Month

2 years!

I cannot believe that 2 years has passed. Yet, it seems like just yesterday that Aria died. It is a moment I would like to forget. However, I could never forget my first baby girl.

Happy 2nd birthday my punk rock girl.

As we wake up in the morning

and your not here to see,

we grasp for some reality...

that our dreams can never be.

W

e'll imagine what the day would bring,

if only you weren't gone.

You'd run and laugh, and jump about,

we'd sing the birthday song.

You should be here today,

excited as can be...

Sifting through the toys and wrap,

bursting forth with glee...

We'll do our best to make it through,

this day we meet with dread.

We'll do this all for you, my love...

on this road of grief we tread.

So on this day... my precious daughter,

You're birthday number two...

your in our hearts and in our thoughts

....as we send our love to you.

© Sharon Kivisto

Wow- 4 babies in 3 years.....

When people ask how many children I have, I respond 4. 3 that are living. I will always remember the child I had but will never have.

Aria 10-11-08 - may you be at peace cause I may never be.

Life moves forward even when a part of you is missing.

It is amazing to think that if Aria was here, she would be the same age as Aurora.

Athena is 6 months old and Aurora is 1 and 1/2 year old.

As time passes.......

I look back and can't believe the amount of time that has passed. I think back to laying in the hospital in Oct saying, Dr. I really hope that Athena is not born on the same day as Aria! Thankfully, Athena came 1 week prior to the birth/death date of Aria.

I am not sure individuals who never experienced the loss of a baby or experienced a difficult pregnancy can understand the pain, fear and grief of the situation. Athena does not take the place of Aria. However, Aria made me realize how lucky I am to have Athena and how I cannot take her or Cole for granted.

With that being said, it is incredible that the statement, "you are pregnant" can be so bittersweet.

There are so many people blogging on here who have experience loss after loss with the added difficulty of conceiving. My heart goes out to you all.

We often think about you: Tristan's Mom.

Pregnancy After Loss

Despite being pregnant again, I am going to keep this site for Aria.

SADNESS

Today is a very bad day, My baby girl should have been born today and I should have been celebrating the miracle of life but instead I sit here with an aching heart. Nothing is the way it was suppose to be.

And the countdown begins. . . .

Aria's Memorial


My emotions have been running wild. Aria proved to me that I can be happy. Happy does exist; who would have known? While I was pregnant, life seemed perfect. Everything was falling into place. I can only wonder whether I will ever feel that way again. Time will tell.

I guess I was hoping that March 1, would never come. I don't want to face that day. I dread it!! However, it is quick approaching. With that being said, I am looking forward to getting my Punk Rock Girl Tattoo the first week of March. This will be the most meaningful tatt on my body as it will be in memory of my baby girl. She will be with me forever. [I'll love you forever, I will like you for always, as long as I am living, my baby she will be].

THERE IS JUST TOO MUCH THAT TIME CANNOT ERASE. . .

My baby shower was suppose to be on January 17, 2009. Poppy and I were not going to call it a baby shower; rather, it was going to be my 33 birthday party since I dislike showers and missed my first one to give birth to my son at 34 weeks.
Although Aria is no longer with me, I decided that I would still make something for my precious little girl, which would have been given at my birthday shower. lol As many people who suffer from depression encounter, I have lost the motivation to do things I enjoy. This is an attempt to do something that I like.

Shine On
Please don't cry
Although I leave you here this night
Where ever I may go how far I don't know
I will always be your light
And if the moon had to runaway
And all the stars didn't wanna play
Don't waste the sun on a rainy day
The wind will soon blow it all away
When the days all seem the same
Don't feel the cold or wind or rain
Everything will be okay
We will meet again one day
~Jet~